June 2006

I still remembered when God spoke to me about my calling. I was at the rooftop of the building in my barrack. The wind was chilly, the air quiet and still. I was hungry for God; for more of Him. I was feeling dry spiritually, and longed for His touch.

As I worshipped Him, His presence came. I remembered God telling me to give up my dream. I had always wanted to be a writer. But a voice rang in my head, “Don’t do it. Give it up.” I was confused. I got upset. Why would God tell me this?

Then He reminded me of a story in the Bible, about Abraham who went to the mountain to sacrifice his son Isaac. Isaac was a gift from God, a miracle child given to Abraham to fulfill God’s covenant with him. Isaac speaks of our gifts and abilities.

Suddenly it became clear. God wanted me to place my gift on the altar, this gift of writing I had. God wanted me to dedicate this gift totally to Him; to let Him work through me.

Finally I understood. My heart leapt with joy, beating hard and fast. A sudden rush of passion came into my being, quickening my every step, strengthening my every speech. It was exhilarating.

This I promised Him that day: that I will use my gifts to glory Him.

June 2007

The Emerge Conference came into full swing. I still remember the day: 2nd June 2007. Saturday. I was in the overflow room, and not too happy about it. My member was late, and I went out to find him, only to realize that we were all allocated to the overflow room. And my cell group was relocated to some bad seats as well, due to some cock-up somewhere.

My mind was buzzing with activity. Thoughts were flying in all directions, each clamouring for my attention. I was hungry for God, but the thoughts and emotions just couldn’t stop coming.

I submitted myself to Him, asked God to touch me despite my distractions. And He did.

God really moved in the session. Indeed, He had one simple message for the entire congregation: love. And as Pastor Kong spoke, I felt these words implanted into my heart: Your vision is incomplete without love.

Your vision is incomplete without love. I was stunned and amazed. It was so simple, yet profound. God brought me back to June the year before. And He gave me a fuller revelation of my calling. It wasn’t about specifics, it was about the motivation of the heart.

In 1 John 4:8 the Bible says, “He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” He that loves knows God. Abraham certainly loved God because He understood God enough to know God’s intentions and put His faith in Him. He knew God would never allow Isaac to be sacrificed, but that understanding came only out of a deep relationship with Him, akin to, as the Bible relates it, the sexual relationship between a man and a woman (Gk. Ginosko).

Abraham knew God intimately. The story of Abraham and Isaac on the mountain is really a story about the relationship between Abraham and God. God and love are inseparable. If you know God, you will begin to love.

If we will begin to come before Him and seek His face everyday, the Great Commandment—loving God wholeheartedly and loving people fervently—will become our lifestyle. A true vision from God is one where love is the ultimate goal.

Had a fascinating SOT lesson with Bobby one day, talking about the “Resurrection of the Dead”. That lesson illicited many questions from the students, which is of course understandable. We had a really enlightening Q & A session with him after class.

I asked regarding how God will judge those who have never heard the gospel. And his answer is this: by their conscience.

Romans 2:12 (Amplified Bible)
All who have sinned without the Law will also perish without [regard to] the Law, and all who have sinned under the Law will be judged and condemned by the Law.

Here we see how the Law doesn’t apply to everybody. For those under the Law they will be judged by the Law. For those outside of it and yet sin they will still perish. Therefore for the Gentiles of the past, they are not under the Law as it only applied to the Israelites. So by what are the other races judged by?

Romans 2:15 (Amplified Bible)
They show that the essential requirements of the Law are written in their hearts and are operating there, with which their consciences (sense of right and wrong) also bear witness; and their [moral] [e]decisions (their arguments of reason, their condemning or approving [f]thoughts) will accuse or perhaps defend and excuse [them]

From here we see that in every human being there is this guiding mechanism called the conscience. It is the Law written in our hearts, programmed into every man who has ever been created. Therefore for those who have never heard the gospel and are not under the law (i.e. the Ancient Chinese, obscure tribes living in the jungles of the Amazon), they will be judged according to their moral decisions, which will either deem them righteous or condemned.

Romans 2:16 (Amplified Bible)
On that day when, as my Gospel proclaims, God by Jesus Christ will judge men in regard to [g]the things which they conceal (their hidden thoughts).

There are two main guiding principles when it comes to Jesus Christ’s final judgement on mankind: 1) the acceptance of Christ’s salvation followed by genuine repentance, and 2) the motives of our heart. God does not look at the outward, but the inward. Compare a hypocritical Christian with a honourable man who has never heard the gospel, God will definitely choose the latter.

One final question remains: what of those who may be in an oppressed society of today (some of which are too sensitive to mention), where the gospel is available to the world but not to them? And what of those who may be in a deviant form of Christianity and may never get a chance to listen to the real gospel? Let us look at one final verse:

Romans 2:11 (Amplified Bible)
For God shows no partiality [[d]undue favor or unfairness; with Him one man is not different from another].

God is always fair. Even though salvation may be available to the world at this point of time, he extends grace to those who will never get to hear the gospel. Yes, even though Jesus is the only way, the truth, and the life, God is flexible enough to accomodate those who are less privileged.

God’s grace extends beyond what we can fathom.

I realize that this little insight will create more questions than answers: about the nature of God, about everything. But don’t worry, I’ll come to that :-)

1 Corinthians 2:9 (Amplified Bible)
But, on the contrary, as the Scripture says, What eye has not seen and ear has not heard and has not entered into the heart of man, [all that] God has prepared (made and keeps ready) for those who love Him [who hold Him in affectionate reverence, promptly obeying Him and gratefully recognizing the benefits He has bestowed].

This is an amazing verse. Sometimes we think that the dream we have from God is all there is to life. Wait a minute—you may be asking—isn’t having a God-given dream a good thing to have? Yes it is! In fact, I think it is trememdously important that we know exactly what God wants us to do with our lives. And yet He promises something much better!

God has a life planned out for us that exceeds even our wildest dreams, beyond what our minds can conceive! Sometimes we set a perimeter and think that our lives will stop at our dreams. No, God intends that our lives extend beyond even our dreams. So maybe you think that God wants you to be a millionaire. In fact, God wants you to even richer. Maybe you think that God wants you to be a movie director. God has something even greater in store for you.

And it gets even better. God’s promises extends even—get this—beyond our present lifetime. This means that the life we will lead in eternity, the things we will be doing, the blessings we will experience, goes for all of eternity!

I believe I am speaking to people who feel short-changed in life, or feel handicapped in some way, or who wish that they would have converted earlier. God has something in store for you for your life beyond this present age. Stop pitying yourself. You’re just taking a short vacation on Mortality Island. In the meantime, it’s time to reach out, and bring as many people into the Kingdom of God as possible!

Our lives have indeed just begun.

Life can get pretty exciting. Especially when you know exactly what you are meant to do in life. Especially when everything seems so clear, when the vision is planted right in front of you, unwavering and immovable. It is exciting when you are unfettered by the drudgeries of life, when mountains are cast aside, where anything and everything seems possible. I am living in the realm of dreams.

But not just dreaming, I feel myself moving one step closer towards my dreams. I believe. And nothing will stop me from acheiving what I set out to accomplish. I have a mission; that is to impact lives with my talents and abilities. As I scour the landscape I observe people that are living washed-out lives, people stuck in the rat-race of life, drained by the endless persuit of material goods. I observe people making one silly choice after another, digging themselves deeper and deeper into a bottomless pit. I do not want to be like them.

That is my greatest fear. To live a life just an inch short of what I’m meant to be living. They say fear is a great crippling force. But fear can also be a great motivation. I fear mediocrity. I fear living a mundane life. I fear not doing what I’m meant to do with my life. This is something that I will not allow to happen.

I am tremendously blessed to have people around me constantly setting me on the right path, setting the rudder for me in the right direction. Thank God for wise friends who never fail to dispense timely advice. Thank God for His quiet but significant influence in setting the course for my life.

Sometimes we think we don’t have what it takes to fulfil our dreams. Sometimes we think that the price is too great for us to pay. Sometimes we are overwhelmed by self-doubt and a lack of confidence. But I say to you today: God doesn’t look at our abilities, but our willingness.

Are you willing to obey His voice?

Notice a man who stands at the MRT station, doing nothing but staring into space. He clutches a laptop in his arms, a bag slinged to his shoulders. His hair is a bit messy, but in a nice kind of way. He wears a T-shirt with jeans, one hand in his pocket. And he is smiling, at no one in particular. It is a blank smile, a response to his thoughts, an inner joy, gladness in the soul. He is still as a rock, but his soul stirs, mind in overdrive; ideas and thoughts flowing through him. He is excited, his heart exploding with anticipation.

That man is a dreamer.

His mind races to the future, sprinting far, far ahead. His thoughts splits in several different directions, his mind spiraling and spinning at a rapid pace. He is lost in the future, in a world where the ground is jelly and the sky pink. Where anything is possible and nothing is unachievable. His body stands, straight as a tree, but his mind is ten feet above. He has transcended to the world beyond, a different dimension, a world of hope and wonderment.

That man is me. I am a dreamer, lost in my own thoughts, fuelled by faith and imagination alone. I see many things, yet perceive nothing. I dream of the path ahead, yet stumble on the stone at my feet. I look to the future, but have trouble staying in the present. I am fuelled by my imagination, and by the vision God has given me. That seed is germinating.

This is the motto I live by: “The greatness of a man is determined by the audacity of his dreams and the size of his heart.”

The process towards acheiving that dream is often painful. The effort and sacrifice which one will have to put in to see that dream turn into reality is enough to cause many to turn away, to cease dreaming altogether and languish in a world of predictability and boredom.

I am taking steps towards acheiving my dreams, steps which are painful, which requires a measure of sacrifice, of humbleness, and an outpouring of UNselfishness. In taking these steps I am stepping into a life where pain and suffering is a byword. Where one has to constantly pour out without expecting anything in return. I am learning to love people who are vastly different from me. People with different personalities, temperaments, and backgrounds. Oh it is so hard, but it certainly isn’t impossible! But the reward and fulfilment that flow out of learning how to love? Priceless.

A man with dreams but no heart is just a wishful thinker. A man with heart but no dreams is just a mindless worker, destined for a life of monotony and frustration. But a man (or woman) with both heart and dreams–he can change the world.

What kind of person are you today?